All Up In My Feelings

Now that I've completed my degree there is nothing keeping me from thinking of you. Now that no more homework is due, I can't shut you out my mind- the way I use to. Here all alone, as I've always been, I find no solitude in starting a new journey, a new life, with my newly acquired skills and education- without you. Soon I will be an empty nester,  and I'm scared of what that kind of loneliness may lead me to do- without you. When will things change? When will I win? I'm starting to hate love- hate this heart I've been given, with it's ability to love- in spite of, its capacity to care- without provocation. When will it learn? When will it become so jaded by unrequited love, unfulfilled dreams and harden itself? When and how do I get it to stop scaling the walls put up by my mind? Someday, it'll finally refuse to exist, I know, but until then- I'll keep hoping, keep praying, keep loving, keep being all up in my feelings.